Marriage to a second wife
Although I was educated to degree level in England, my parents arranged for me to marry a girl from Pakistan who was only educated at primary school. I accepted because I knew that, had I not, this decent, respectable woman would lose the respect of her family. We have been married for 17 years and have six children. I am now 38 years old, and although I have affection, respect, and honour her loyalty and love, my wife regrettably leaves many of my needs unattended.
I have recently received a proposal of marriage from a lady prepared to accept being my second wife. I desperately want to grasp this opportunity to protect myself from forbidden actions – haram – but my wife is anxious and distressed lest I do. Both she and my family urge me to control my permitted – halal – needs and desires. Words are not able to express my struggle to avoid hellfire but I do want to be just and fair to both women.
While I believe that the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) is as applicable now as it was 1,400 years ago, should I suppress just and halal needs because of the distress I am causing, or should I marry and satisfy my just and halal needs?
Generally speaking, Islam permits a man to take a second wife. The crucial condition however is that he is fair to them both.
We advise that, instead of trying to benefit from what is permissible – mubah in Shari’ah – you control your sexual desires and concentrate on the future of your six children and wife who would suffer.